Calgary - a new city and a different me.

What I remember about Calgary comes from two places in my past. It is a place I grew up in until I was 11 years. It also is a place I returned to chase my Olympic dreams as a synchronized swimmer. Growing-up the memories I have are fond. I had the idyllic childhood - long summers playing in the yard, sleepovers, winters spent at the pool, at the neighbourhood ice rink, Nakiska ski resort, pizza nights, Olympics of 1988, Fish Creek park... the list could go on. Coming back when I was 16 to swim was a different story. It was a struggle despite amazing support of the Gregory's, Korenda's and to the extent they could, my family. I struggled to find a job, struggled to get to the pool, ballet, and work without a car, struggled to make it financially and struggled to make the adjustment to life without school and being "on my own". With all the pressures, my synchronized swimming career took a downhill spiral. Arriving I was at the top of elite athletics. Leaving I felt like I was with the bottom feeders in the deep ocean.

Fast forward 10 years - I had travelled the world, earned two degrees, loved, forged incredible friendships and found myself in a career with the Canadian Government. I was ready for the next challenge. In comes triathlon.

Five additional years and I am here as a professional triathlete in Calgary. Something drew me here to do my first 70.3 triathlon (half ironman). Riding and running parts of the course yesterday I think I started to understand why. First is the beauty of being in the prairies. The huge blue sky with the rocky mountains as the backdrop. The birch trees. The meandering creeks and rivers. The second reason is that I needed to be here to further embrace and understand myself as an elite athlete. Swimming taught me discipline, the importance of team, coaching, trust, and hard work. Somewhere in my career as a synchronized swimmer though I lost the love of the sport yet could not let go because it was who I was - or at least thought it was.

Coming here I realize that I am a triathlete and it defines what I do day in and day out. It is 100% my lifestyle and I do it because I am passionate about the sport. Yet, it does not define me. I much rather think that the relationships I have, support, and grow in define me. It is how I do my work (train, eat, sleep) not the end result of it. I want success that is defined by being at the top of the podium just as my competitors yet understand that this is only part of it. So cheesy but so true - it is the journey not the destination.

I have incredible life experiences behind me and so many rich experiences ahead of me. I have an optimism, confidence and love of where I am in life. I am once again here as an elite athlete at the top of my game - but better. I am prepared mentally and physically to be in this race. If you are wondering what I might be thinking over the 4.5 hours of hard work, it is about how much I love what I do... being in the water fighting to get around the buoy in first, getting on the bike flying up and down the hills, and finally being blissed out in the run because I know I can - the biggest gift yet. I also will be joyful that I am in this incredible city, creating new memories and taking all that I am in it. Zoom Zoom - here I go!

Learning and Re-learning

Ahhh this is the life! It is 8am and I am sitting at the Bouldin Creek Coffee House with a cup of coffee and a just out of the oven Morning Glory muffin. I have swum this morning, checked and written emails, made phone calls and now am taking in the rich life that I have. These past two weeks have been really amazing for me in all the learning that I have done through training. Although I am still working on increasing speed for Olympic distance triathlons I am also preparing for my first half ironman (next week Sunday!). The differences are not so much in the volume of work but the type of effort and how to manage it both physically and mentally. This is what I mean….

Lesson #1: First Tempo Run Workout of 2010. The first thing you should know is that it is hot in Austin at this time of year. Many days you just have to walk outside and you start to sweat. The second thing you should know is that I have never really enjoyed evening workouts – that is anything past 6pm. Maybe knowing these things Zane decided that I should do a tempo run with him on his bike at 7pm – nice and hot and late. Ugg.. I had all day to wonder if I would get my nutrition right, whether I could manage the heat and whether I would make the pace times. The first steps I took I thought – I hope I don’t puke. The next few steps I thought- this is not going to be particularly fun. So it began and so did Zane in his constant “encouragement” for me to fix my running form. As the workout progressed I got it into my mind that I was not hitting the pace times, that I was not living up to what I could do and was expected to do, and certainly not looking like a good runner. Essentially the negative thoughts began. I started to feel my stomach turn, my breathing went wacked and I gave up on trying to lean forward, keep strong posture, arms strong…. I broke down in frustration. If one saw us on the side of the path they would have seen me ready to cry and yell in frustration and Zane, in his very cool way, saying “use your words Tenille”. That is what my sister says to my 5 year old niece! Out came all my fears, expectations, frustration with running. Zane made me come back to believing in myself, trusting in the process and coming back to focus on what is important in completing the workout. For me this focus is on running form. When it gets hard I have to dig into how I am doing it not in the fact that I have to push harder, work harder, and get the time. I have no trouble in working hard (it’s innate) and the time will come on its own. My body position will only come from me. Once I regrouped I headed out for another 10 minutes. Low and behold I got the time, felt strong and had MUCH better form. Imagine that! It is about controlling the mind and focussing on what is important for you.

Lesson #2: Going long. I headed out yesterday for a long ride which included 2 hours at race pace followed by a moderate 6 mile run. I have to admit that I had no idea what to expect. I have done several longish Saturday morning rides with the Austin Tri-Cyclist group but on your own is different as you aren’t using the motivation and energy of others. What I did know was that it was going to be about proper nutrition and focus. The focus is different – it has to be held for a much longer period and is not so much managing at the upper threshold of pain as in a tempo run but in a constant push of pain. And so it began. There were several times throughout those two hours when I was dripping in sweat and wondering how in the world Zane thought I would be able to hold my watts up… then I realized it is again about believing in yourself to do it and managing it one pedal stroke at a time – pulling and pushing. It was about staying in the process and not for a moment letting up on it. Did I manage the whole time – absolutely not. Do I know what I have to do to be the best I can be in long course triathlon – absolutely. The respect I have for the Chrissie Wellingtons and Terra Castro’s of this world is huge! I am thus far “only” undertaking a 70.3 distance, racing an ironman is a completely different ballgame.

Summary: Focussing and what it takes. There is an important difference between a good triathlete and great triathlete. There are those people who race amazingly well and train good. These people know how to bring something special to the race, are usually smart strategically and have an unwavering confidence. Although successful these people won’t live up to their potential because they have not done everything they could to bring their peak fitness to the race. Then there are those people who train very strong, are unbelievably fit but race only well. They don’t race up to their potential because they lack belief in self, in their training or are overwhelmed by the competition and/or the race itself. Finally there are those that train and race up to their potential. Races are not won in the race but in the focus that one can maintain day in and day out which they then are able to bring to that day. It is about staying in each training session with that belief that you need to get through that day but also that you need to take to the start line. It is about the constant decisions you make to be the best you can be – nutrition, recovery and the details. It is about remaining open to learning and relearning how to be better mentally including what to do to regroup after everything seems to be falling apart (tempo run) and how to stay in the “zone” (long ride at race pace). Bringing deliberate training to the race is what makes one great at the race. I certainly have a long way to go but when you are following your bliss like I am this kind of “work” is where joy comes from – and lately, I am full of it!

Pan-American Champion!

My first victory as an elite athlete! It did not happen over night and it certainly did not happen without many many challenges and learnings to get me to this spot. Is it all worth it? Absolutely. Is it about the journey? There is nothing better and nowhere else I would rather be day in and day out than right where I am. The win is a testament to that. What makes this victory so great is that I am able to share it with so many others - I am blessed with an incredible community across Canada, the US and continents of the world!

Everything about the lead up to this race was different for me. Given my labral tears just getting to the start line was a huge achievement. I was itching to go and knew with certainty that I am more fit than ever before and also have the skills and strategy to match this fitness. I was also not getting off a week of work and trying to switch gears into "elite athlete" mode a few days before a race. This makes a tremendous difference. What is funny is that I really felt that I knew how the race would play out. Although I was ready for different scenarios, it did play out exactly how I determined it would.

It was really cold in San Francisco (60s with high of mid 70s). At least I thought it was cold given my love for the Austin heat. Because of this I opted to not swim before my race - a first. I normally really like a long swim warm-up and don't normally get really moving in a practise until we are halfway through. I was ready though and when that horn went there was no thought of anything but to move into the lead. The swim played out a little differently than expected as another girl (Brazilian) moved into the lead. I determined that I would not pass her easily so it was better to just sit on her feet and let her do the work. I stayed there until the last 200m or so when I started to pull in line with her. I was able to get up the stairs faster at swim exit and take the honours of fastest swim (or smartest :)

After a DISMAL first transition I got on the bike. I was relaxed as I knew that I would not have any troubles catching up to the 2 other girls. The bike is where I have always had a quiet confidence. This year though it is not only a confidence in my power but also in my improved bike skills. Zane has had me doing crits every Thursday and a lot more riding in groups where understanding tactics is necessary if you want to hang on. Although I still have a lot to learn, things have much improved from my first days of racing. Having skill on this course is a huge advantage as it is so technical with approx. 23 turns per lap. There were 6 laps. After 2 laps I had dropped both girls and did not look back. I continued to gain time on the chase pack of 6 girls and went into T2 with a very solid lead.

In the past I have run scared. Last year at this race I had a solid lead but was run down. In Kelowna, National Championships I was with the lead pack (doing much of the pulling) and was run down. I previously had the attitude of just go until you can't go any more. I seemed to loose time in the last 3 kilometers and just die. This year working with Zane I have two things - efficiency and strategy. Ken (previous coach) has built in me a huge motor. Zane is building on it and bringing out the potential I have out. I maintained my composure in the run. I believe I had good form, turnover and most importantly belief in myself and my abilities. Chantell and Gwen (2nd and 3rd) are very strong runners and had faster run times but I was able to hold them off. With some speed and tempo work which I have yet to add since my injury I will be able to do more than hold them off.

This race obviously means a lot to me. I really could not have got to the start line without the support of a few incredible people: Zane Castro for bringing out the power, skills and faith in me; Ken Brunet for believing and bringing me to where I am; Dr. Taylor (MD) and Dr Zelinski (and team at Advanced Rehabilitation Austin); Kevin Trybalski (RMT)and Dr Glennie (ART); Ruth England and Steve Sisson (Rogue Running); and, Mark Cathcart for his on-going generosity. This win though is for my mom who rarely misses a day to hear how I am and who somehow does not bore with the ups and downs of being a pro triathlete. She is my rock. Thanks Mom - medal is in the mail!

Up next... Calgary 70.3. That is really going to hurt!

For pre and post interview click here

For video of the race click here

For photos click here

Over 3000km later and still going!

That's right - I am going to race this coming weekend at the ITU Pan American Cup in San Francisco! What a journey to get to this start line... the challenges however are far from over. I will back track though as much has happened in two short weeks. On June 22 I left for a whirl-wind trip to Ottawa. I hit the ground running to appointments - Orthopedic Surgeon, Dr. Taylor (sports medicine), blood work, bone density tests, ART (thanks Rebecca!), car repairs (ouch!), bank... I had three days scheduled to get a lot done - typical Tenille style. I also wanted to get my training in of course, enjoy friends and relax a little. Except for the relaxing part I got it all done. The biggest challenge was getting my bike to arrive in Ottawa before I left back to Austin. I spent hours talking to United Airlines pleading and stressing the importance that they find and send me my bike. I pulled out every diplomatic bone in my body to stay calm in these "discussions". In the end it arrived four days late.

The appointment with the Orthopedic Surgeon, Dr. Beaule, went very well. He echoed the advice of Dr. Gilbart to "manage" the labral tears and only do surgery as a very last resort. I did learn from him however that the left side labral tear is due to FAI (http://www.hipfai.com/), a bone structure problem, whereas the right side labral tear is due to poor running mechanics. What this means is that I will be able to manage my right side easier than my left as there is not much I can do to change my bone structure. Luckily the right was the more problematic side whereas the left only flares up once in awhile. Dr. Taylor, in her constant quest to address problems and prevent them, issued tons of blood work and the bone density scan to make sure all was well in my general health (results pending).

Between the stress of my bike and running like a mad woman to get stuff done I did have a few shining moments - swimming in Meech lake, doing a late night dip in the Gatineau river, riding around Wakefield, swimming with ROCS, a bonfire - catching up with some friends. Ottawa is a special place and I am lucky to have called it home for a few years.

On Sunday I hit the road toward Austin. The road trip could not have started better. After four short hours my dearest friend Carrie and I caught up in Toronto. I then had one more hour until I arrived into Kitchener where I stayed with my best friend Carolyn. It was great to get out of my world for a moment and just be with people who know me beyond being a triathlete. The next two days are a blur of cities and highway. I started driving at 7:30am Monday and did not stop until 9:30pm. The next day started out again at 7:30 and arrived in Austin at 8:30pm. Over 3000km, numerous tanks of gas and hours of listening to podcasts, music and audiobooks later, I arrived. I have to say I was absolutely exhausted and completely "jacked-up". My left hip was bugging me.

So this is how it goes for me - I learned that sitting is absolutely the worst for me -planes are particularly bad. Running around like a mad-woman while maintaining some form of a training schedule is sure to cause problems. In other words - recovery is essential. How many times does one need to hear this to really get it? I have to admit I was scared - Six weeks of running seems to be my breaking point since the fall. It seems to happen just as I start to feel good. I start to get a sore lower back, my gluts starts to seize up and I cater to the affected hip which throws off proper mechanics, walking or running. Essentially the muscles around my hips go into overdrive causing immobility and a general lack of proper functioning. On the road toward Austin I put in a call to Kevin, the most phenomenal massage therapist, and prayed that he would see me as soon as I got into Austin. He did and worked hard providing me with much improved mobility in that hip. The mental challenge that goes with managing my hips is the constant questioning and uncertainty. I am not sure whether to back off running or whether to believe that the muscles will release and that I should keep going. I realized that this is exactly what "management" is and that no one can tell me what to do. I have to learn the grey zone.

Thankfully I played it right and am still going and getting stronger with every workout. I am ready to race and see where I am at. I am super excited to get out there and nervous too. It has been a long hall just to get to this point and so my game plan is this. I am going to soak up every moment of planning, training and racing... I am going to stay grounded in the fact that I am following my passion and my dreams and have incredible people around me that are helping make this happen. It is easy to let stress overcome these facts. So stay tuned... results are coming!