Winter Wonderland

It is the phenomenal amount of snow that I am witnessing that is inspiring me to finally write. I am in London Ontario. There is a snow squall occurring and although I did not remember what this was, I do now. From the window it is really quite pretty- trees bent over with the heaviness of snow and an endless white. When I look at my runners and think about running outside it is a bit of a joke. There is no way even a hearty Canadian can get through this without snowshoes.

I better back-up a bit as quite a bit of time has passed since my last blog and now. I have, surprise, surprise, been rather busy. After my last race of the season in Phoenix, I had two weeks off from training. I was really really ready for it. I thought that maybe I would have a hard time not showing up at the pool, throwing my runners on or getting on my bike but I actually had no trouble saying good-bye to my training regime for a little time. It helped that I was able to do things that I have not done in such a long time – hike, play, stay up late and not worry about the next days work!

Tanner and I went to Big Bend National Park which is in the South of Texas on the Mexico/US border. It was spectacular. The park is in the middle of the desert, has an incredible canyon that the Rio Grande meanders through, and is a collection of limestone peaks that provides the most incredible views, sunrises and sunsets. The night sky is unforgettable – thousands of stars that the naked eye can see. I was able to let go of my endless list of things to do and give over the pressure I put on myself to constantly achieve and work hard. I was able to just be.

This set the stage for the rest of my vacation where I had a whole lot of fun with friends in Austin. I could not ask for anything more… sadly it all came to an end when I got onto the plane to Ottawa.

I arrived at 4:30 to a dark sky, rain and a chilly wind. It was everything I dreaded. I was in Ottawa to see friends, get some things done and move my boxes to London Ontario in a big UHAUL truck. As per usual Ottawa folks were amazing. The Cyclery got me set up with an awesome Tacx trainer, Ryan at Solefit Orthodics got me into a new pair of orthodics, I saw my favourite Dr. Taylor at Carleton Sport Medicine Clinic and Rebecca at Westboro Chiro worked on some surprisingly jacked up gluts. It was like I never left. I ran along the beautiful Rideau Canal and swam with the best swim club ever – ROCS. After saying good-bye to friends I said good-bye to the city. Ottawa has been amazing to me in so many ways but that chapter of my life is now closed and a new one has opened.

So now I find myself in London Ontario with my mom and Ted. The fridge is always full, the apple cider warms the house and mom is constantly baking the next loaf of bread. Christmas centre pieces are found throughout the house and it is warm and cozy especially when Ted starts the fire. I have a room devoted to my bike trainer and can watch VHS movies… excellent. I have reacquainted myself with the pathway along the Thames river, the treadmill and am training with the University of Western Ontario swim team. It is actually all working out quite well from a training perspective as long as I am ok with it being indoors. I look forward to my brother arriving and chilling out with him. So until I return to Austin (Dec 31) I just have to stay warm, not get frustrated with the shovelling, ice, layering, slower pace of moving and remember that a few feet of snow really is quite pretty…!

2010 - A Year to Remember

I am not sure how to capture this year in words as it has been such an incredible journey. It has been wonderful and painful, has brought joy and sadness but most importantly has challenged me to be a better person, better athlete and striving for more.

In January I sold all my furniture and left my work with the federal government to train full-time. Knowing that my run was my weakness I went to Austin Texas to work with Steve Sisson who is a phenomenal elite running coach. Once again I fell in love with Austin and the people who make this community so incredible. I was there for three short weeks but it was long enough for me to want to go back as soon as possible. In March I returned and was ready to work hard but this time I was limping around – there was something wrong in my hips but I had no idea what. I went to see Dr. Zelinski of Advanced Rehabilitation and he worked hard on improving my mobility. No matter how many treatments I had though, I was still suffering. He sent me to get an MRI and I stopped running entirely. The prognosis was not good – labral tears on both hips.

At the same time as getting these results I flew back to Victoria to say good-bye to my pake (grandfather) who was dying. Whilst with my family I went to see an orthopaedic surgeon in Vancouver to discuss the MRI. His prognosis was that despite having labral tears I should do everything I could to not have surgery – there was no guarantee that surgery would help me. And so I went back to Austin on a mission to change how I run. It was essential and the only way that I could get back to doing what I love.

I had to make some hard decisions to make changes in my training that I felt were necessary to take me to the next level. I needed a coach that could change my running form so I could run. I needed a coach that could help me use and apply the motor that I had developed over the past three years with Ken Brunet of the Peak Centre of Human Performance. Finally I needed to be in an environment with others that pushed me to be better everyday. Zane Castro, a friend of the past three years and a person who I had turned to numerous times to seek coaching advice was what I needed. With a lot of difficulty I left Ken to work with him. Zane had his work cut out for him!

Starting 5 minutes at a time I started to come back to running. Every moment was supervised with Zane demanding nothing but perfect form. These training sessions were some of the hardest I have done both physically and mentally. I also worked with Lauren Green at Advanced Rehabilitation to strengthen my coordinative strength, my core and my hip flexor mobility. Through this time there were incredible people who gave me the strength to keep going and that kept reminding me that this too was all part of the journey.

After 6 weeks Zane gave me the green light to race in the ITU Pan-American Cup San Francisco Triathlon at Treasure Island. I had just got my mileage up to 6 miles. The result – First Place! That race meant everything to me and set the tone for the rest of an incredible year. I raced everything from a super sprint (300m swim, 5mile bike, 1.5 mile run X2) to a half ironman. I learnt that despite training in heat I have not learnt how to race in the heat and had some tough races in 35C+ weather conditions. I learnt that I absolutely LOVE really hard races with lots of hills (Alcatraz). If there is one thing I can do it is grit my teeth and power my way through hills. Mostly I learnt that this job, being an elite athlete, is incredibly challenging, sometimes lonely and leaves no room for excuses. It is complete dedication to a lifestyle - eat, sleep, breathe, train - that rarely allows for compromise. It is also incredibly rewarding.

Just like every journey it is the people and the relationships you create that enrich the experience. Although triathlon can be a completely selfish endeavour, it is when you share it that it is truly worth something. The people that have supported me above and beyond: Mark Cathcart, one of those unsung heroes that has provided me with a roof over my head for numerous months, been a sound advisor all things triathlon and has generally supported me asking for nothing in return; Zane Castro and the Peak Centre for making me believe and getting me to where I am; Rogue Running (Ruth, Steve, Carolyn and the Elite team); Advanced Rehabilitation; The Cyclery (getting me what I need regardless of where I am!); Jack and Adams Triathlon Store (they fix my bike on a dime every time); Logan Katz LLP; Dr. Alan Edmunds (sport psychologist who challenges me every time); Kevin Trybalsiki (my massage therapist, counsellor and best hugger in Austin); Sugoi (amazing cloths and Canadian!); Solefit Orthodics; and, Dr. Taylor of Carleton Sports Medicine Clinic who won’t stop until she really knows what is going on. With these people I could keep going, dreaming and working my butt off. Finally, I can’t thank my family enough – you only get one and I have the best out there.

I am actually taking a vacation this year – first one in 3 years. No training, no work, just bliss. I am sure after 2 weeks I will be absolutely itching to get back to what I love and absolutely passionate about. This year was very good but next year is going to be incredible. That I know.

Second Place Super Sprint Triathlon Grand Prix!

An amazing day. An unbelievably exciting race experience. An awesome result.

Going into this race I knew the race would be fast, fun and really hard. It was all that but awesome for triathlon, fantastic for elite athletes, and so much more. The vision that Marc Lees has for the Super Sprint Triathlon Grand Prix will be incredible entertainment for spectators and television viewers. The race format was 300m swim, 5mile bike, 1.5 mile run x2 and no breaks.

The race was in the community of Oceanside at the Pier. It was perfect weather, not too hot and not too cold. There was surf which definitely benefitted those that knew how to read and swim waves and those that felt confident in their swimming abilities. I fell into the later category as I really have not had much experience in the whole wave thing. Apparently I am a quick learner.

The horn blew and we were off – from that moment on it was full on racing. Sara McLarty was phenomenal right from the first swim. She apparently caught a wave that launched just after theturn buoy and rode it practically to the shore amazing spectators. She came out of the water ~40 seconds ahead and maintained that lead for the rest of the race.

The race really became about 2^nd place. Out of the first swim I set the stage for what was to come - I was in second.

The bike course was hotdog shape and we did 8 laps. It was head down, surge out of corners and hard. Coming off the bike Aussie Charlotte McShane launched a terrific speed onto the run quickly followed by Alicia Kaye. I never lost contact but fell into fourth. The ITU racer Takagi from Japan and Ironman superstar Kate Major ran themselves into the race and so our chase pack swelled to 5 women into the 2^nd swim. Richie Cunningham had prepared me mentally for that second swim telling me that it would be super hard but to just get through it. I love a good fight so I did just that. I pushed through a lot of pain and managed to catch up around the buoy. Then a miracle happened – I caught a wave on my way back. I have to say that this was a super cool experience as I had no idea even how to catch a wave. I just kept swimming with it and found myself coming out of the water in second again. Perfect. The second bike was similar to the first in that it was fast and hard. Alicia Kaye caught up to me and we worked together. Kate Major, Takagi, and Michellie Jones were hot on our heels. Getting onto the second run I felt good and my legs were really turning over. I passed Alicia and was running in second up until the last 300m of the last lap. Takagi caught me and Kate and I started to run shoulder to shoulder. Around the last turn though I was in contact with Takagi and I gave it my all. I ran hard, overcame her and sprinted across the line to

take second place. It was absolutely awesome.

The Super Sprint Triathlon Grand Prix is really like nothing I have experienced before. It was sheer adrenaline from the get go. The coolest part was that it was not just the athletes that had the total high but spectators too. They were on the side cheering their hearts out which spurred each of us on and pushed us to a new level. I can’t thank Marc Lees enough for having such an incredible vision for this race. It takes incredible courage and passion to put on such a class act and Marc obviously has it in spades! Super Sprint Triathlon Grand Prix 2011 here we come!!!

Acknowledgements for Photos: Sean Watkins Photography, Finishline Multisport, Super Sprint Triathlon Grand Prix

For Media coverage check out:

http://triathlon.competitor.com/

http://video.competitor.com/2010/11/triathlon/tricenter-super-sprint-tri-grand-prix/?marquee

Pan-American Championships Puerto Vallarta

Going to Puerto Vallarta to represent Canada at the Pan-American Championships was an incredible experience. I was selected to go along with Chantell Widney, Kirsten Sweetland, Andrew Russell and Jeff Phillips. We had Craig Taylor (Triathlon Canada Senior Development Coach) to support us athletes and Kurt Innes (Triathlon Canada High Performance Director) was there to research the area in preparation for the Pan-American Games in October. All in all it was a great Canadian team and we had awesome support.

I was the first to arrive and was a little gob-smacked by the hotel. The last time I was in a resort-like place was in Mombasa, Kenya with Farouk. There we took in amazing views of the ocean, laid by the pool, did the snorkeling thing, ate too much... I digress. This is what most people do when in Puerto Vallarta too. That is most people except us. We were there to work and that is just what we did.

The prep days before the race were very uneventful. We sat in our hotel rooms to stay cool. We watched movies, read, drank electrolytes... were bored actually. Because we were tapering as well the energy levels just going up and up and up to the point that both Chantell (roommate) and I were saying to each other - let's get on with it!

The race organizers were doing anything but relaxing. Up until the morning of the race they were determining what the course would be, laying dirt over cobblestones, packing it down and hoping the cement that they laid the day before was dry enough. It ended up being a technical

but flat course on the bike. The swim was in a sheltered port and the run was mostly along a

flat road. Surprisingly and after some serious anxiety the course was pretty good.

It was a deep water start and unfortunately for me I had a really rough start. I ended up loosing the lead pack and dragging the second (chase) pack behind me. In other words I did all the work and was anything but comfortable in over 80 degree water. I lost my goggles as well so sighting became a challenge. Despite these challenges I worked hard and came out of the water (after totally banging my shin and knee at swim exit) and was ready to rock the bike. We worked hard and eventually caught the lead pack. Then my next stupid mistake happened. I missed an attack just prior to a technical transition section, got stuck behind some girls who lacked cornering skills and a gap opened up. So I found myself working super hard once again to close the gap... third full-on effort in the race. After we caught the girls there was no way that I was going to get caught out again. I led the bike for a significant portion of the remaining time controlling much of the pace. I told Kirsten to just sit on my wheel (i.e., not work) and make sure she was ready to win the race. She did just that (although got DQd). Through the final 2 laps (of six) of the bike I felt good, thought that I recuperated from the efforts and was ready to have a good run.

Then the run. Oh the run! Coming from the race in Tuscaloosa (ITU Pan-American Cup/US Nationals), learning from that race (specifically blowing up at 7km due to over heating/dehydration), Zane and I determined that I should definitely not bolt from transition like I normally do, be more conservative and ensure that I take in more fluids throughout to bring my core temp down. Specifically we planned that I would actually drink water at the first opportunity. I downed almost a full bottle. Then I promptly felt like I needed to throw it all up. Excellent. I kept hoping that I would come around - I was ready for this race. I never did.

I was super super bummed. I have been running faster than ever. I was fully tapered and confident. Yet a stellar finish was not in the cards. So this is where I have to say that sometimes I need to be beat on the head a bit to get perspective. I was not supposed to be able to race at all this year. I had to get over a significant injury, totally change my running technique and make some other huge changes in my life (take a leave from my job, change coaches, move to train in Austin... just to start). Through all of this I had breakthrough races, learned a whole lot about race strategy and after just 2 ITU races this year came 14th at the Pan-American Championships while racing for Canada. So am I on track? Absolutely.

Up next is an amazing race in Oceanside California - the Super Sprint Grand Prix. This race is by invitation only and will be super super fast and fun. I have never done anything like it and am really excited about it. We will be doing a swim, bike, run x2. It is going to HURT! Which is exactly what we triathletes, for some reason absolutely love. Sadly it will be my last race of the season. Funny to think. I will keep you posted on how it goes!

Happy training, racing and recuperating from a great season!

AzulOx

What is AzulOx you ask? Well it is Josh Baker in action with a camera, lights, and cool moves. His subject - me! So those that know me know that I have not ever really considered myself "model" material. But put me in my Sugoi cloths, running shoes, and on a bike and suddenly I can pose, move and have a whole lot of fun!

This past weekend was really great. It started with a early morning steady ride with Terra Castro on the Longhorn 70.3 course. Other than a few dogs jumping out at us, the ride was really beautiful. Sun rising over fields, cows, over small bridges, under tree canopied roads... thanks to Mark Cathcart you always knew you were on course following little yellow arrows. From there it was a quick stop at Rogue, home for lunch and then off to the Bicycle Sport Shop to volunteer at the Trek Women's Triathlon. Volunteering at an event like this is wonderful because it reminds me of doing my first triathlon. I remember Margot showing me how to set up my transition spot, answering questions like 'what do I wear?', 'do you put socks on?', 'do I need gels and how many?'.... Then there was my first triathlon at the elite level - how do you keep your shoes on your bike (elastics) and how do you get on your bike in the flying start sort of way (I likely have not figured that out but what I do works for me!).

The weekend then just got better on Sunday. I was off to the Rogue Running Fat Ass Trail Run at "The Shore" on Lake Bastrop. I ran 12miles of beautiful well marked trails, some of it with stellar runner Allison Macsas (elite Rogue Team) and was in bliss. I helped out after

my run handing out the most amazing awards - rolls of toilet paper on gold, silver and bronzed holders (stunning really) and replenishing post-race food (a role I take very seriously). After all that was over, runners had made it in from the bush with smiles on their faces, Josh and I began my photo shoot.

I can't be the easiest subject to capture (being so speedy and all :) ) but he used his talents and came out with some fun pics. The point of the whole thing was for me to have some pictures of me where I am in action but not with a look of total race related pain on my face. I want to have them to send out to potential sponsors. Fingers crossed that it will work - who wouldn't want to buy into this image right! Anyway, the whole process was great. Check out all the photos at http://www.azulox.com/blog/?p=302

Sunday afternoon it was off to the Quarry with Mark for a quick swim and then a fabulous meal of filet mignon with sauteed aspagagus, green beans and roasted sweet potatoes. Told you my weekend was great! And now it is Tuesday where most people head to the office and I head out for hours of training and hopefully if all goes well hours of "resting" too. Hopefully all the participants at the Trek Triathlon and Rogue Fat Ass Trail Run will have lots of great stories to tell around the water cooler! Congrats to you all on a great accomplishment!

Seventh Place at US Nationals / ITU Pan-American Cup Tuscaloosa Alabama

Wow! What a race. I would be lying if I said the whole thing was a whole lot of fun because to be honest the last lap and a half on the run was sheer pain but I will get to that.

The race started at 12:00pm, 92 F. The course was 1 lap swim, 8 laps bike with a small twisty hill, and 4 lap run along a road one way (no shade) and pathway on return (some shade). It was my first race this year where there was no chance of rain and I was not wearing a jacket at the start to stay warm. Given that I have been training in Austin where temperatures are routinely in the 90s and thus used to dealing with heat I thought - no problem, my body will be able to handle this... 2 hours - thats all right! I was ready to swim, bike and run up to my potential. I felt good and was excited to race.

The gun went off and I was perfectly positioned next to Hayley Piersol, just one of the USAs amazing swimmers in the sport. I just had to follow her and I would be ok. I followed her right into the first pack and swam comfortably on the feet of the leaders and specifically Sara McLartys for the first 900meters or so. I kept thinking this is good, stay here and don't let them go... but then around the second buoy Sara decided to strap on a turbo jet and my wonderful draft was gone! Just like that. I had no feet, no Sara pulling me along happily and I found myself having to work very very hard to close a gap that was opening up. Ugggg. The gap ended up being around 15 s and despite the fastest transition (which I am quite proud of) and working so super hard to close the gap on the bike - I failed. Second Uggg.

Jillian Peterson pulled up to me with Jennifer Speildenner and she was going super strong. It is with these two that I rode the 8 laps. Not much to say on the bike except that I felt fine, had lots of time to drink and actually ran out of my GU brew... 2 large bottles in 1 hour. It was that hot.

So the run began and I just heard Zane's voice in my head saying 'run up to your potential, grab someone and stick with them.' No where did I hear in my head "Respect the heat - It will get you if you do not conserve". So off I went running. I passed Jillian, passed McLarty and was all of a sudden in fourth! Brilliant. I would be lying to say it didn't hurt but to be honest after the second loop I was feeling ok. I believed that I was holding a pace I could sustain. The numbers were right (if not slow). It was not until the 3rd lap that I started to think wow I am really getting hot. Then I started to think, this is really hard and I am not really loving this right now. Then I started to think, I hope I can finish (that was on the 4th lap). Then I stopped thinking and just tried to stay on the path (the weaving, closing my eyes began). I crossed the finish line and was helped to the medical tent where I was given ice, water, a place to rest.

I ended up seventh. It was a great race on many different levels but mostly because it was a great race to prepare me for the Pan-American Championships in Puerto Vallarta. I felt rusty going into this race as it was my second ITU race this year but now it is like the chain has been lubed, a few aha moments happened and I have no doubt that I am on the right track.

On my way back to Austin now and will definitely be working hard. I will keep you posted but mostly my blog will be me saying I eat, I sleep, I train and once in awhile get excited because I have discovered a new icecream to make in my new ultimate icecream maker. Stay well my friends, congrats to all my fellow racers this weekend and thank-you volunteers, race officials and City of Tuscaloosa for a great race!

Third Place at Avia Austin Triathlon!

Finally my race report on the Avia Austin Triathlon! I could have wrote about the race immediately citing the amazing organization of the event by High Five Events with critical support by Jack & Adams. I could have wrote immediately about the stellar form Kelly Handel Williamson is in and of course Desiree Ficker, both of whom caught me on the bike. I also would have probably said something about the icecream, tortillas, beer that you get at the finish line.... but when it came down to it I needed a little time to think about my race and what it was to me.

Since Alcatraz last weekend it has been straight down to business. I have an opportunity to get a solid few weeks of training in before my next important race, the ITU Pan-American Cup/US Nationals in Toscaloosa. I am back in Austin with Zane at my side correcting any form slips since I have been away. I am back at the UT Masters early morning practices and doing the infamous ATC Saturday rides with the roadies. And then of course getting used to loosing serious water weight everytime I train in the Austin heat and humidity. The Austin Triathlon was part of the training, part of a hard week.

When you get on the start line it is just the same though - the anticipation of a adrenaline kick, your chance to put hard work into action and to be the best you can be that day. A few days prior to the race there was a lot of talk at the pool of who was going to be on who's feet, who was going to have to do the hard work off the start. Unfortunately for me the guys (Philip Graves, Richie Cunningham) took off at such a pace that I could not match it despite my best effort. There were no feet for me to draft. I did have a great swim though closing the gap toward the end of the course and getting through transition very quickly. On the bike I kept thinking go go gadget legs! My breathing was fine but my legs were having a heck of a time giving that extra race

ummph, that - I am in a race grrrr factor. Kelly and Des passed me at virtually the same time on the third lap. Again I thought - anytime legs go! But alas what I had that day was what I was putting out there. The start of the run was in the pouring rain - one could say refreshing? I just laughed given my track record of cooler weather/rain race starts this year. Knowing my legs were a little shot I determined to really focus on good form and getting my speed from that. I was cheered by friends which was awesome - really kept me going and pushing.

When people first asked me about my race, I didn't know what to say - hard day on the job? Now I would say that it was great. Zane keeps emphasizing progress to me. The Austin Triathlon evidenced progress - I swam faster and ran faster on tired legs with much better form. Steve Sisson (UT Womens and Rogue Elite Team Running Coach) was there and was so positive that I think I am still glowing. Progress. At the end of the day this is what it is about. What I can do is have no regrets, give each day, each race everything I have. Did I do this - absolutely.

The highlight of this day was cheering on the Rogue athletes who were accomplishing their own greatness - seeing their faces, look of determination, joy (ok and maybe a little pain) was awesome. Celebrating their accomplishments was fulfilling and joyful. I have said it before but being part of the Rogue athlete community brings me to the essence of why I do what I do. I started triathlon aiming to be the very best athlete I could be, bringing it to a level I had not achieved, taking care of every detail of my training and life to accomplish this goal. For the Rogue athlete - this may look a little different but it is about accomplishing something great, their own PR, overcoming fears and being their own best. Progress right? So to end this congrats to all those out there that have aimed for progress today. Keep going. Everyday counts.

This is it!

It is 7pm on a Friday night and I am cleaning my room. My legs hurt and I am getting hungry as it has been a whole two hours since I ate last. I also just thought that I better get going because it is bedtime soon! As I look around I realize that I have way more Sugoi gear that contains spandex than anything else. I have GU gels on the counter right beside a few CO2 cartridges. The jewelry I have is a Garmin and it is connected to my computer uploading my latest run. All these little things are my life. What is better yet is that I am living and doing exactly what I want to be doing even for a Friday night. There are not too many people that can say that. From where I was in March through to now has been a tremendous journey with so many people that have been there along the way. They are right now on Quadra and Hornby Island, in Courtney, Vancouver, Kelowna, Calgary, Ottawa, London, San Francisco, Austin and living it up in San Jose, Milan, Muskoka, Kenya... I hope that everyone enjoys what life has given them this long weekend from races, weddings, baseball games and just hanging out. I will. How cool is that!

Victory at San Francisco Triathlon at Alcatraz!

I think that the beginning to a great race starts the week before it happens and for me this was certainly true. The Tuesday after a very sad DNF at Nationals I went back to my Austin home. As soon as I arrived I felt my whole being relax. Wednesday I ran on Townlake, did bike intervals on south mopac, saw my friends at Rogue, got the best hug and massage by Kevin (RMT) and got to coach the amazing Rogue triathlon swim group which always brings me to why I do what I do. Thursday I was at the track and never ran better. My health and my spirit were back.

Friday morning getting to the airport was a little rough as the cab was 1/2hr late for a 4:30am pick-up. The stress of checking in before the cut-off time, getting my bike and me through security and making it onto my 6am plane enabled me to meet an incredible person though. By the end of the whole ordeal I still had a smile on my face. My bike didn't make it but that was ok,

I have been there before. As soon as I arrived at Noreen's, my amazing homestay, I also felt at home. She had plans for a lunch of quinoa salad, dinner including Rebar potato pizza and fresh out of the oven banana bread to keep me going all day long. Really now, does it get any better!

Noreen, having done Alcatraz three times, took me to see the incredible bike course. Other than Pacific Grove triathlon, I have never been on such an incredible course. The views of Golden Gate bridge, Alcatraz, the dunes, the Presidio were amazing. I kept laughing as I quickly realized how hard a race it was going to be. It is a there and back course but really it just seems like it is up and up and up! I wondered if Zane knew what I had gotten myself into - of course he did. He

also knew that I would absolutely LOVE the challenge of it.

Tri-California did an amazing job of the logistics and organization of the race as it could not have been easy. First there is getting over 1000 bikes and people organized in transition, then onto a bus to meet a boat that would eventually take us out to Alcatraz. The energy on the boat from the age-groupers was incredible to be part of. At 7am though it was down to business - we walked along the thin boat rails and the gun went off... I had one mission and one mission only. Follow the lead boat to ensure that I caught the current properly. It was a little rough to do as my idea of this may have been a little different from others as I wanted to cut over to that boat. Eventually I freed myself and was able to swim properly. I swam the whole thing on my own but came out almost the same time as fellow competitor Kirsten Peterson. Amanda Stevens was only a few steps ahead.

The first 15 km of the bike course was Amanda and I switching back and forth for the lead. Amanda then took the lead on the Great Highway using her awesome time trial power. I never let her out of my site and eventually, getting back into the hills, was able to close the gap. Like in the 70.3 I controlled my power resisting huge surges as I wanted to ensure a fast and solid run. I believe I played it perfectly because when I got onto the run course my legs still felt good. I immediately started chipping down on Amanda's lead and at the first hill overtook her. Then came the downhill. Guess I need to work on this as Amanda's legs turned over like a pinwheel and once again we switched leads. Then came the strength part - run along the super soft sand followed by the infamous 400 step sand ladder. It is exactly how it sounds. I knew if I wanted to win this race I had to power my way up the ladder and keep the pressure on for the remaining part of the hill - no looking back. There was another downhill and I did not want her speedy legs to catch me! I gained time on her and then just dug in until the finishing shoot not giving in for a moment until I knew I had it.

Crossing the finish line in first on such a prestigious course and with competitors Amanda Stevens and Melanie McQuaid was incredible. The journey to this race once again showed me so much about myself. The race was sheer joy, adrenaline and incredible athleticism. Now, watching the Tri-Cal TV interview, reading the slowtwitch article and receiving such an outpouring of support and excitement from friends, I am in awe of what this journey I am on brings out in me and in others. All I can say is I can't wait until the next one but until then, I am going to continue working my butt off!

Article: San Francisco Examiner

Knowing when to call it quits

I don't know the right answer to this question necessarily but I did just that yesterday in my race. The last few days before the race were rough for me. I got a cold. I tried to believe that it was just in my sinuses, that I didn't really need to breath through my nose at all, that my head, despite feeling heavy, was going to be ok. I drank tea endlessly and tried to do all the right things to get better. The funny thing about rest though is that as soon as you do it, your body can either get stronger or it falls apart. Mine fell apart.

When I woke up yesterday morning, my first thought was that I wanted to go back to bed. This is not ideal when I should have been itching to get out there! I ignored my malaise and continued with my pre-race rituals. Got to the race site and was ok but still way too blah for a National Championship Race. The gun went off and I had a good start. I was actually in the lead for the first lap of the swim but then it went downhill - my body started to shut down. I was only 10 minutes into the race. I dropped several places in the second lap and despite making a huge effort to bring myself up, I had nothing. Running to transition was brutal and I watched the lead pack get away. Normally in this situation I will fight to catch up and I did but the fight was a bit of a pathetic attempt as I could hardly breath. My power on my SRM was low and I felt like I was going to die... not great. I tried to get myself going but no amount of postive talking was going to get my body to recoup this one. The chase pack caught me and I told them to not count on me - I was using half a lung. This is when I knew that my race was over. I was not going to have the race I knew I could do. I also knew that if I continued I would be putting myself further into the hole I started in. So I called it quits.

Upon reflection now, it is really hard to know what this is like until you do it. I actually don't know the last time I ever quit anything. Sure I have lost confidence or blown up and didn't put my normal 200% into something - but quit? I don't think I ever have actually done that - not in synchro, school, races, workouts... Last year I raced until I passed out - twice! To me that was better than quitting.

So here I am the morning after the race, sitting here with a box of tissues beside me and a cup of ginger lemon tea wondering how long it takes to get over this little bump. I look forward to feeling like me again and giving it my all. I am trying to be easy on myself and let it just be what it is. Although I am not a huge believer of horoscopes - they can sometimes be fun and fitting. Mine today:

"An idea that meant nothing to you yesterday will mean everything to you today and you won’t be happy until you have investigated it further. It’s not true that Capricorn is interested only in practicalities. You’re philosophical too."

So I may investigate this a little further, will learn from it and then get down to my practical self again and move on to the next race - San Francisco Triathlon at Alcatraz! Until then, I can't wait to get back to Austin, the warmth, my friends and what I seemingly call home now.

Training in Kelowna

I seem to balance my days with training, picking vegetables from the garden, searching for recipes, little more training and then making vegetable feasts! I have feasted on swiss chard salad with apples and pecans, cucumber peach salsa, plum chili salsa, caprese salad, brown rice mushroom risotto with zucchini. The best yet was a zesty orange zucchini loaf with cream cheese icing. Unfortunately I got one slice and the dog ate the rest. So yes trying to keep the dogs out of trouble (ie leave NOTHING out, up high, in tupperware containers etc) seems to be my biggest challenge. In the scheme of things - not bad. The picture is representative of my daily harvest here.

Training in Kelowna has been pretty great. The riding is always up or down and through incredible orchards and vineyards. Often you turn a corner and are offered an incredible view of Okanagan lake. It is quiet, drivers are used to cyclists and for the most part, seem to be pretty relaxed. Apart from the orchard/winery industry, tourism feeds the economy here so people may be more inclined to be nice.

This past weekend I went for a dip in the lake. I remember it being warmer than it was. I only managed 30 minutes before I had to get out and warm up in the sun. I was also treated to a hot chocolate after which really helped me to warm up! I wonder if I am the only one in Kelowna looking for hot chocolate on a beautiful summer day.

The absolute highlight thus far has been running along the Kettle Valley Railway, up at 4000ft with the most incredible views of the Okanagan valley. The dirt trail takes you across 15 train trestles and through 2 rock tunnels. There were tons of people on their bikes, stopping for lunch and enjoying the sites. I was in bliss. I also have not run on much flat terrain of late so this too was a treat as I felt like I was flying!

Today I am up for a swim and have scoped out a few more recipes to get through the mountain of zucchini and cucumber that we have here. Another loaf of zucchini bread has just come out of the oven - this time though Fernanda and I will be the only ones to enjoy it!

Fourth Place 70.3 Calgary!

Ok a little delayed but here it is.. my race report! The day started at 3am with breakfast listening to the wonderful noise of rain pouring down with only thunder interrupting the patter. Excellent!

Nevertheless, I was off to meet the bus at 4am and get out to the race site. I can't say that I remember all that much about the bus ride but do remember that it was early, cold and dark. Forty-five minutes later we all arrived and I walked to my transition area - a huge pool of water. One potential bonus was that I had a lot of space as no one else really wanted to brave the additional swim through transition. The other advantage to a cold rainy morning is that the water felt surprisingly warm in my warm-up!

When the gun went off I quickly realized that I messed up a little on the start line as I hung back a little. This meant that I had to fight my way to the front. Men and women went off together so it was a little different for me than in the ITU races. To be honest, I think that although the bodies I had to battle were a bit bigger, there was a lot less silly antics (feet grabbing). My swim felt strong and steady. I had a good rhythm. Because of my poor start I missed some drafting potential and had to swim on my own for a large part of the swim trying to bridge the gap between the lead group and myself. I almost succeeded. I did create a huge lead (2:20) though among the women - of course I had no idea of this running out.

One thing about me is that I hate being cold. The rain had stopped thankfully but there was no sun to be found. This meant braving cool temperatures for 95km. I decided that as long as I could wear socks I would be ok. So I grabbed my bike, ran out of transition, and close to the mount line I put my socks on. Of course the video camera was on me as I was in the lead so I thought - oh man this is sooo not going to look professional! I laughed and just kept thinking - this is my first one and I am allowed to make a few rookie moves :)

On the bike I tried to find my rhythm right away. I usually have a tendency to just want to hammer it out but kept thinking that I really needed to contain myself if I wanted to maintain a solid performance. I probably was a bit conservative on the bike for this reason. Heather Wurtele had a stellar bike and passed me, then Mirinda Carfrae came up and also passed me. One person was ok but two! Never mind that Mirinda is a world champion. I didn't want to have to be the one always worried about the draft line so I passed her back and didn't look back. The second half of my bike was stronger than my first. My rookie mistake on the bike was that I kept looking at the mountains and thinking how pretty it was. My head had to turn to do this and if you have ever seen an aero helmet, if you turn your head you are anything but aero. Oops. I had to stop enjoying myself out there so much.

I came out of transition and Mirinda was hot on my heals. She quickly passed me and I had to remind myself to slow down - I had 21km to do and was certainly not going to be able to do it at her pace. Thank-goodness I had my Garmin because as much as I wanted to hold a 6'/mile pace, it was not going to happen. The run felt pretty good although I wondered at around 4km if my legs would ever come around. It was like running with bricks. They did though and I honestly was shocked at how quickly the turn-around at 10km came. I was sad to see though that Linsey Corbin was coming up on me so quickly. I just kept trying to keep my pace up. The rookie mistake that I made on the run was my nutrition. I knew I had to continue taking something in and I tried but the whole chocolate Gu thing in the flask was not working for me despite training with it. I kept forgetting to close the lid and it kept getting all over me. Chocolate Gu is not what you want all over and I kept thinking how beautiful it must look with brown smudges all over my hands and face. My ego got in the way :) So over the half marathon it was lucky if I got in one gel. oops. I hit a wall at 19km and shortly after Linsey flew by me. Uggg. So close yet so far. I came to the finish line though with a smile on my face. The announcer was rather funny - he kept saying ' we don't know much about Tenille Hoogland as this is her first 70.3 but she has been doing half marathons etc.... ' The last half marathon I did was in Toronto in 1995. I did it just under 2 hours and it HURT!

I loved this race and loved the whole experience of being in Calgary while undertaking my first 70.3. It truly was everything I hoped for (although the podium would have made me very happy). I really look forward to my next one and pushing the envelope maybe a little more on the bike. I also will have done more than one long run by this time so will have a bit better fitness in this department. Oh soooo scary how well I could do at this distance if I trained for it and had a proper TT bike!

Since the race it has been straight to training for Kelowna Pan-American Cup/Nationals. It is back to speed and being on the red-line for 2 hours. To be honest, the 70.3 although hard, is not as hard as the intensity that comes from an ITU race. Maybe because I was conservative in my race but to sit on that thin red line is challenging mentally and physically. I usually don't see anything in an Olympic race except the feet, wheel or pavement in front of me. I certainly don't have time to think, oh those mountains are sooo pretty!

Stay tuned... hopefully I will be running around a little less in the next while and better at blogging. The season has just begun!!!

For articles on the race click here or here.

Calgary - a new city and a different me.

What I remember about Calgary comes from two places in my past. It is a place I grew up in until I was 11 years. It also is a place I returned to chase my Olympic dreams as a synchronized swimmer. Growing-up the memories I have are fond. I had the idyllic childhood - long summers playing in the yard, sleepovers, winters spent at the pool, at the neighbourhood ice rink, Nakiska ski resort, pizza nights, Olympics of 1988, Fish Creek park... the list could go on. Coming back when I was 16 to swim was a different story. It was a struggle despite amazing support of the Gregory's, Korenda's and to the extent they could, my family. I struggled to find a job, struggled to get to the pool, ballet, and work without a car, struggled to make it financially and struggled to make the adjustment to life without school and being "on my own". With all the pressures, my synchronized swimming career took a downhill spiral. Arriving I was at the top of elite athletics. Leaving I felt like I was with the bottom feeders in the deep ocean.

Fast forward 10 years - I had travelled the world, earned two degrees, loved, forged incredible friendships and found myself in a career with the Canadian Government. I was ready for the next challenge. In comes triathlon.

Five additional years and I am here as a professional triathlete in Calgary. Something drew me here to do my first 70.3 triathlon (half ironman). Riding and running parts of the course yesterday I think I started to understand why. First is the beauty of being in the prairies. The huge blue sky with the rocky mountains as the backdrop. The birch trees. The meandering creeks and rivers. The second reason is that I needed to be here to further embrace and understand myself as an elite athlete. Swimming taught me discipline, the importance of team, coaching, trust, and hard work. Somewhere in my career as a synchronized swimmer though I lost the love of the sport yet could not let go because it was who I was - or at least thought it was.

Coming here I realize that I am a triathlete and it defines what I do day in and day out. It is 100% my lifestyle and I do it because I am passionate about the sport. Yet, it does not define me. I much rather think that the relationships I have, support, and grow in define me. It is how I do my work (train, eat, sleep) not the end result of it. I want success that is defined by being at the top of the podium just as my competitors yet understand that this is only part of it. So cheesy but so true - it is the journey not the destination.

I have incredible life experiences behind me and so many rich experiences ahead of me. I have an optimism, confidence and love of where I am in life. I am once again here as an elite athlete at the top of my game - but better. I am prepared mentally and physically to be in this race. If you are wondering what I might be thinking over the 4.5 hours of hard work, it is about how much I love what I do... being in the water fighting to get around the buoy in first, getting on the bike flying up and down the hills, and finally being blissed out in the run because I know I can - the biggest gift yet. I also will be joyful that I am in this incredible city, creating new memories and taking all that I am in it. Zoom Zoom - here I go!

Learning and Re-learning

Ahhh this is the life! It is 8am and I am sitting at the Bouldin Creek Coffee House with a cup of coffee and a just out of the oven Morning Glory muffin. I have swum this morning, checked and written emails, made phone calls and now am taking in the rich life that I have. These past two weeks have been really amazing for me in all the learning that I have done through training. Although I am still working on increasing speed for Olympic distance triathlons I am also preparing for my first half ironman (next week Sunday!). The differences are not so much in the volume of work but the type of effort and how to manage it both physically and mentally. This is what I mean….

Lesson #1: First Tempo Run Workout of 2010. The first thing you should know is that it is hot in Austin at this time of year. Many days you just have to walk outside and you start to sweat. The second thing you should know is that I have never really enjoyed evening workouts – that is anything past 6pm. Maybe knowing these things Zane decided that I should do a tempo run with him on his bike at 7pm – nice and hot and late. Ugg.. I had all day to wonder if I would get my nutrition right, whether I could manage the heat and whether I would make the pace times. The first steps I took I thought – I hope I don’t puke. The next few steps I thought- this is not going to be particularly fun. So it began and so did Zane in his constant “encouragement” for me to fix my running form. As the workout progressed I got it into my mind that I was not hitting the pace times, that I was not living up to what I could do and was expected to do, and certainly not looking like a good runner. Essentially the negative thoughts began. I started to feel my stomach turn, my breathing went wacked and I gave up on trying to lean forward, keep strong posture, arms strong…. I broke down in frustration. If one saw us on the side of the path they would have seen me ready to cry and yell in frustration and Zane, in his very cool way, saying “use your words Tenille”. That is what my sister says to my 5 year old niece! Out came all my fears, expectations, frustration with running. Zane made me come back to believing in myself, trusting in the process and coming back to focus on what is important in completing the workout. For me this focus is on running form. When it gets hard I have to dig into how I am doing it not in the fact that I have to push harder, work harder, and get the time. I have no trouble in working hard (it’s innate) and the time will come on its own. My body position will only come from me. Once I regrouped I headed out for another 10 minutes. Low and behold I got the time, felt strong and had MUCH better form. Imagine that! It is about controlling the mind and focussing on what is important for you.

Lesson #2: Going long. I headed out yesterday for a long ride which included 2 hours at race pace followed by a moderate 6 mile run. I have to admit that I had no idea what to expect. I have done several longish Saturday morning rides with the Austin Tri-Cyclist group but on your own is different as you aren’t using the motivation and energy of others. What I did know was that it was going to be about proper nutrition and focus. The focus is different – it has to be held for a much longer period and is not so much managing at the upper threshold of pain as in a tempo run but in a constant push of pain. And so it began. There were several times throughout those two hours when I was dripping in sweat and wondering how in the world Zane thought I would be able to hold my watts up… then I realized it is again about believing in yourself to do it and managing it one pedal stroke at a time – pulling and pushing. It was about staying in the process and not for a moment letting up on it. Did I manage the whole time – absolutely not. Do I know what I have to do to be the best I can be in long course triathlon – absolutely. The respect I have for the Chrissie Wellingtons and Terra Castro’s of this world is huge! I am thus far “only” undertaking a 70.3 distance, racing an ironman is a completely different ballgame.

Summary: Focussing and what it takes. There is an important difference between a good triathlete and great triathlete. There are those people who race amazingly well and train good. These people know how to bring something special to the race, are usually smart strategically and have an unwavering confidence. Although successful these people won’t live up to their potential because they have not done everything they could to bring their peak fitness to the race. Then there are those people who train very strong, are unbelievably fit but race only well. They don’t race up to their potential because they lack belief in self, in their training or are overwhelmed by the competition and/or the race itself. Finally there are those that train and race up to their potential. Races are not won in the race but in the focus that one can maintain day in and day out which they then are able to bring to that day. It is about staying in each training session with that belief that you need to get through that day but also that you need to take to the start line. It is about the constant decisions you make to be the best you can be – nutrition, recovery and the details. It is about remaining open to learning and relearning how to be better mentally including what to do to regroup after everything seems to be falling apart (tempo run) and how to stay in the “zone” (long ride at race pace). Bringing deliberate training to the race is what makes one great at the race. I certainly have a long way to go but when you are following your bliss like I am this kind of “work” is where joy comes from – and lately, I am full of it!

Pan-American Champion!

My first victory as an elite athlete! It did not happen over night and it certainly did not happen without many many challenges and learnings to get me to this spot. Is it all worth it? Absolutely. Is it about the journey? There is nothing better and nowhere else I would rather be day in and day out than right where I am. The win is a testament to that. What makes this victory so great is that I am able to share it with so many others - I am blessed with an incredible community across Canada, the US and continents of the world!

Everything about the lead up to this race was different for me. Given my labral tears just getting to the start line was a huge achievement. I was itching to go and knew with certainty that I am more fit than ever before and also have the skills and strategy to match this fitness. I was also not getting off a week of work and trying to switch gears into "elite athlete" mode a few days before a race. This makes a tremendous difference. What is funny is that I really felt that I knew how the race would play out. Although I was ready for different scenarios, it did play out exactly how I determined it would.

It was really cold in San Francisco (60s with high of mid 70s). At least I thought it was cold given my love for the Austin heat. Because of this I opted to not swim before my race - a first. I normally really like a long swim warm-up and don't normally get really moving in a practise until we are halfway through. I was ready though and when that horn went there was no thought of anything but to move into the lead. The swim played out a little differently than expected as another girl (Brazilian) moved into the lead. I determined that I would not pass her easily so it was better to just sit on her feet and let her do the work. I stayed there until the last 200m or so when I started to pull in line with her. I was able to get up the stairs faster at swim exit and take the honours of fastest swim (or smartest :)

After a DISMAL first transition I got on the bike. I was relaxed as I knew that I would not have any troubles catching up to the 2 other girls. The bike is where I have always had a quiet confidence. This year though it is not only a confidence in my power but also in my improved bike skills. Zane has had me doing crits every Thursday and a lot more riding in groups where understanding tactics is necessary if you want to hang on. Although I still have a lot to learn, things have much improved from my first days of racing. Having skill on this course is a huge advantage as it is so technical with approx. 23 turns per lap. There were 6 laps. After 2 laps I had dropped both girls and did not look back. I continued to gain time on the chase pack of 6 girls and went into T2 with a very solid lead.

In the past I have run scared. Last year at this race I had a solid lead but was run down. In Kelowna, National Championships I was with the lead pack (doing much of the pulling) and was run down. I previously had the attitude of just go until you can't go any more. I seemed to loose time in the last 3 kilometers and just die. This year working with Zane I have two things - efficiency and strategy. Ken (previous coach) has built in me a huge motor. Zane is building on it and bringing out the potential I have out. I maintained my composure in the run. I believe I had good form, turnover and most importantly belief in myself and my abilities. Chantell and Gwen (2nd and 3rd) are very strong runners and had faster run times but I was able to hold them off. With some speed and tempo work which I have yet to add since my injury I will be able to do more than hold them off.

This race obviously means a lot to me. I really could not have got to the start line without the support of a few incredible people: Zane Castro for bringing out the power, skills and faith in me; Ken Brunet for believing and bringing me to where I am; Dr. Taylor (MD) and Dr Zelinski (and team at Advanced Rehabilitation Austin); Kevin Trybalski (RMT)and Dr Glennie (ART); Ruth England and Steve Sisson (Rogue Running); and, Mark Cathcart for his on-going generosity. This win though is for my mom who rarely misses a day to hear how I am and who somehow does not bore with the ups and downs of being a pro triathlete. She is my rock. Thanks Mom - medal is in the mail!

Up next... Calgary 70.3. That is really going to hurt!

For pre and post interview click here

For video of the race click here

For photos click here

Over 3000km later and still going!

That's right - I am going to race this coming weekend at the ITU Pan American Cup in San Francisco! What a journey to get to this start line... the challenges however are far from over. I will back track though as much has happened in two short weeks. On June 22 I left for a whirl-wind trip to Ottawa. I hit the ground running to appointments - Orthopedic Surgeon, Dr. Taylor (sports medicine), blood work, bone density tests, ART (thanks Rebecca!), car repairs (ouch!), bank... I had three days scheduled to get a lot done - typical Tenille style. I also wanted to get my training in of course, enjoy friends and relax a little. Except for the relaxing part I got it all done. The biggest challenge was getting my bike to arrive in Ottawa before I left back to Austin. I spent hours talking to United Airlines pleading and stressing the importance that they find and send me my bike. I pulled out every diplomatic bone in my body to stay calm in these "discussions". In the end it arrived four days late.

The appointment with the Orthopedic Surgeon, Dr. Beaule, went very well. He echoed the advice of Dr. Gilbart to "manage" the labral tears and only do surgery as a very last resort. I did learn from him however that the left side labral tear is due to FAI (http://www.hipfai.com/), a bone structure problem, whereas the right side labral tear is due to poor running mechanics. What this means is that I will be able to manage my right side easier than my left as there is not much I can do to change my bone structure. Luckily the right was the more problematic side whereas the left only flares up once in awhile. Dr. Taylor, in her constant quest to address problems and prevent them, issued tons of blood work and the bone density scan to make sure all was well in my general health (results pending).

Between the stress of my bike and running like a mad woman to get stuff done I did have a few shining moments - swimming in Meech lake, doing a late night dip in the Gatineau river, riding around Wakefield, swimming with ROCS, a bonfire - catching up with some friends. Ottawa is a special place and I am lucky to have called it home for a few years.

On Sunday I hit the road toward Austin. The road trip could not have started better. After four short hours my dearest friend Carrie and I caught up in Toronto. I then had one more hour until I arrived into Kitchener where I stayed with my best friend Carolyn. It was great to get out of my world for a moment and just be with people who know me beyond being a triathlete. The next two days are a blur of cities and highway. I started driving at 7:30am Monday and did not stop until 9:30pm. The next day started out again at 7:30 and arrived in Austin at 8:30pm. Over 3000km, numerous tanks of gas and hours of listening to podcasts, music and audiobooks later, I arrived. I have to say I was absolutely exhausted and completely "jacked-up". My left hip was bugging me.

So this is how it goes for me - I learned that sitting is absolutely the worst for me -planes are particularly bad. Running around like a mad-woman while maintaining some form of a training schedule is sure to cause problems. In other words - recovery is essential. How many times does one need to hear this to really get it? I have to admit I was scared - Six weeks of running seems to be my breaking point since the fall. It seems to happen just as I start to feel good. I start to get a sore lower back, my gluts starts to seize up and I cater to the affected hip which throws off proper mechanics, walking or running. Essentially the muscles around my hips go into overdrive causing immobility and a general lack of proper functioning. On the road toward Austin I put in a call to Kevin, the most phenomenal massage therapist, and prayed that he would see me as soon as I got into Austin. He did and worked hard providing me with much improved mobility in that hip. The mental challenge that goes with managing my hips is the constant questioning and uncertainty. I am not sure whether to back off running or whether to believe that the muscles will release and that I should keep going. I realized that this is exactly what "management" is and that no one can tell me what to do. I have to learn the grey zone.

Thankfully I played it right and am still going and getting stronger with every workout. I am ready to race and see where I am at. I am super excited to get out there and nervous too. It has been a long hall just to get to this point and so my game plan is this. I am going to soak up every moment of planning, training and racing... I am going to stay grounded in the fact that I am following my passion and my dreams and have incredible people around me that are helping make this happen. It is easy to let stress overcome these facts. So stay tuned... results are coming!

Buns of Steel

I told Raven that this is what my next post would be called so there it is. That is what I am aspiring to have- buns of steel. Today though there is little buns of steel happening as I have the whole day off of training which feels kind of weird. I woke up at the crack of dawn and decided today was the day I was going to be a tourist and take photos of my current neighbourhood - Congress and South 1st street and find an appropriate Father's Day card. I took out the commuter bike which one can only go slow on, wore a dress and swung my handbag over my shoulder. I succeeded in the first mission but failed miserably on the second. Hopefully my father will forgive me for yet another very late card celebrating his day...

Lately I have started to get a little anxious and have started to really bug Zane about when I might start racing. I think this is due to the fact that I have been feeling good lately.

It is hard to continually put the reigns on when you just want to fly! To be honest, I still have a ways to go in terms of my run fitness but I

am not sure how much longer I can handle being on the sidelines. I will listen to Zane of course but it is hard not to start to planning, getting excited about what may come yet this season. To think that it was not that long ago that I was told that I likely would not race at all this season and would be out until the spring at least. Amazing how quickly things can change.

Next week I go to Ottawa and see everyone there which will be really wonderful and help me get over the general desire to just go somewhere, do something. I am most looking forward to seeing John and the gang at the pool, riding in the Gats and taking a dip in Meech lake. I can't imagine a better way to spend a few days. There will be lots of appointments in there to doctors, seeing friends and yes, I am even headed to the spa thanks to a nice Christmas present! All good. And then I get in the car for what I think will be an eternity! Four days on the road driving back to Austin... ugg. If anyone has any recommendations for how to break up unbelievable boredom let me know! Podcasts, books on tape and music. I will be doing it all...

Just imagine when I arrive back in Austin though - I really will have a whole lot of pent up energy to be released! Watch out....it will be scary :)

Labral Tear Update

On the training front with labral tears things are going surprisingly well. Last weekend I wrote how it was hard to go through the ups and downs of whether it hurts or not. This week there was not so much of that. I pretty much just trained normally and consistently without any drama which felt pretty darn good. Raven (physiotherapist) has me really working my hamstrings and gluts to balance out my over dominant quads. She wants to see them “pop” and so onto the physioball I go doing reps with weights. I also continue to do core work which is planks, planks, mixed in with more planks. The other thing that I am working on is proper form when walking and sitting. I notice that if I walk or sit too much with my right foot not aligned straight, my hip will let me know. This means when driving my foot is not turned out, when walking I am holding good posture and still leaning. I suppose that I really am re-learning whole body alignment and this seems to be what is making a difference. Each run feels like I am a little closer to getting some fitness. Each day I am a little more positive and think that maybe Dr. Gilbart just might be onto something with this whole managing thing… still hoping and taking one day at a time!

My First Ever Bike Race

On the start line there were only six other girls. One of them requests to do only 1 lap of the course thereby reducing the race to 26 miles. The official states that if everyone is in agreement to do one lap then she is ok with it. Much to everyone else’s chagrin, there was no way that I was doing a 26 mile race when I showed up for 52 miles. Come on people! They were sadly disappointed.

So we begin and stayed together for the first 8 miles when the first King of the Mountain (KOM) prime came up. I was in the lead and took the first surge up the hill and maintained my position – score. The pack broke up here and there ended up being four girls, including myself, riding together. Two of these girls made a decision to not work AT ALL. This left all the pulling to me and another girl, Deena, who was quite strong (also from Canada!). Not wanting to be played like a total sucker I strived desperately to have patience. We tried to pull away with a few surges but they responded. When we did try to have them take a pull, they slowed to almost a stop and I am not exaggerating. After awhile I asked what was up. The response was that because it was I who wanted to do two laps they were not going to work the first lap. And that was that. It was painful. I was not happy or having fun…this was not racing.

So the second lap came and I tried to not be suckered into continuing to do all the work by moving constantly from one side of the road to the other. I chilled out and just told this chick to let me know when she was ready to enter this race. The time came on the second KOM prime. I was ahead again going into the hill when she attacked and dove in front of me literally causing me to brake on the hill. There was no way she was going to take it so I punched it and dropped her. Thankfully Deena was not too far behind at the crest and told me to keep going and get away. We did and left them in our dust. Seriously. It felt great. Deena started cramping so I ended up doing the majority of the work on that second lap but I was ok with this because I was glad to be actually riding and she made an effort at least. Last 500 meters was nearing and once again I sensed that despite the fact that I pulled 75% of the second lap, she was still going to go for it. It was a race after all! There was no way though that I was going to let her take it.

It came down to a sprint finish. I had led the whole 500m and new that I had to be in my drops and out of the saddle for the very last surge (thanks Rob!). It worked by a hair. I won. I just (and I mean just) edged her out. I rode straight to the water coolers and drank and drank and drank. It was freaking hot!

In the end, it was fun thanks to my fellow Canadian who was there to race. Maybe those other girls were ready to race but just have a different idea of what this means. Maybe it is me who needs to learn what bike racing is and patience was the first lesson. I kept thinking of Cynthia knowing that she never would have gone for that bull** and would have shared a few choice words. I would have loved to have had her there.

To top the day off Zane had me do my longest run yet… a whole hour!!! It was awesome, had no pain and felt not too bad considering the volume of water lost over the course of the day. Thankfully that night it was a B-B-Q at Allison’s and Gabes. Bless them. Good food and company. Life is good.

Learning to manage the body but more importantly the mind.

It is 8 am on Memorial Day here in Austin. I have the whole day off training which is a real blessing. Overall my body is doing pretty well these days but admittedly the past few have been a little more up and down. Friday morning is known as "fast friday" at University of Texas Masters swim program. The idea behind this is that we do fewer sets very fast. I say the idea because although effort/intention may have been there for me it was like I was going backwards. I was not too sure how the run that afternoon was going to go considering my less than stellar performance in the pool. Sure enough though the body is a funny thing and I had what felt like my best run in a long time - it was hard for me to hold back and not just go, letting my legs just take me how fast they wanted to go. I finished thinking that finally I was coming around just a little. Then it hit. My limp was back. Just to remind me that not all is well with that hip I felt it. Doesn't hurt just is this weird feeling that makes you not want to put all the pressure on the hip. I sat in cold water to try to recover, stretched a little and just hoped that it would go away. Saturday was a hard ride... I don't feel my hip on rides but did feel that my right glut got a little more jacked up. Again the day, evening was spent wondering what this is all supposed to mean. I had a run on Sunday and this is the challenge - do you constantly try to have "no pain" or is it about managing "the pain". I put "pain" in quotes because it isn't really pain that I feel. It is just this annoying feeling that comes and goes and sometimes feels worse than other times and causes me to protect it. I decided to give it a go - long run of 40 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening. This is what is funny - running now feels much better than walking. It is only when I stop then the sensation in my hip comes back a bit. Does this mean then that I should only run everywhere? Love it. So what to do.

Managing a labral tear I think is more about the mind game of managing rather than what the body feels. It is the up and down of analysing, trying to be "smart" but also of not giving in to fear. It is the decision to give it a go and see what happens and trusting that your body is in fact managing and that this will just be part of it - an annoyance. I will continue my core work, trigger ball, cold baths and focus on good running form. The only thing I can do is take a deep breath, remember to exhale and go with it. What is left if you do not have hope and faith? And so today I will relax, send all the positive thoughts I can to my body and be ready to start again tomorrow. Managing and happy.